I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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