I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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