belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
