i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
