Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
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