Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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