hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
and you said cock pushups were impossible
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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