my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Randomize
