So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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