I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
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He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
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We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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