youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Randomize
