Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
literally had 100 drinks last night.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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