haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
