Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize
