I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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