just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
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I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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