Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
