She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
