we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize