therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
