I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
