just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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