They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
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He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
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The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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