ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
