is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Dignity is for republicans.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Randomize