Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize