if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
