Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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