Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Randomize
