I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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