How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
