im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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