I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
