I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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