I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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