I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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