thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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