i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
