I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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