just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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