so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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