honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
