If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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