he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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