You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
