do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
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