I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
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