he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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