It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Small penises have feelings too.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
