They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
