Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
