After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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