covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
