We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize
