I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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