I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
