Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
