Grow some girl-balls and come out already
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
