There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Did we literally take a cab across the street
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize