I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I just found puke in my bra..
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
