Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
They are going to name an STD after you.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize