Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
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